so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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