woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
