so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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