how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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