she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
