I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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