i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
