Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
2020 sucks, I want a refund
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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