sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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