Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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