So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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