Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
