very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize