i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
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