I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
