Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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