I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize