I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
