They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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