I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
