moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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