You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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