Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize