My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
