He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
