How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
