We won't sleep together?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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