I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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