When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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