well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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