I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
