How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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