Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
