Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
