As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
