oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
