dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
