Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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