he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize
