I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
you inspire me to be a worse person
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
