Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Someone shit on the floor
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize