Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
