I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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