honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
