party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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