So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
