I CAN MOONWALK!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
