You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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