why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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