im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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