sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
