just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he wants to bone in the snuggie
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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