I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize