I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
