lets start a swedish sibling band together
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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