Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
