anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
