I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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