stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You may now shotgun with the bride
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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