roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
