you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
