Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
