I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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