His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Dicks are not precious.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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