well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
