what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
