Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
