Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
