I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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