the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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