is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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