Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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