he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I cut my penus on the lid.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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