you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just gift wrapped bread.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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