yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Houston, we have a squirter
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Please don't give away my fajitas
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
